Devon’s growing up!

He’s doing so much so fast!

At almost 17 months, he can:

  • throw away his own diapers
  • semi use a spoon/fork
  • help when dressing (arms up/legs in and out)
  • stomp and dance
  • look to me for direction (when someone has a toy he wants or if he’s just fallen, looks to me to decide whether or not to cry/scream
  • mastered the pteradactyl screech
  • eat chocolate/ice cream/chips
  • slide down the slide by himself *sniff
  • overload a size 5 diaper with piss overnight

2014-08-04_0001 2014-08-04_0002 2014-08-04_0003 2014-08-04_0004 2014-08-04_0005

The Trouble with Golddiggers

is you, and your own perception.

Bear with me, I know I need to explain myself. If, for a fact, you have not understood my title and first sentence, I will re-phrase it as,

There is not a damn thing wrong with gold diggers.  They deserve every penny they get.  WHY? Because it’s hard work.

Ok, for a woman to admit to being a golddigger in itself is rough… (in writing this, I realize I must come across as though I myself, am a golddigger and am therefore defending the act of golddigging, so I  will admit the fact that I, myself am not a gold digger and want to state that a big however, comes with me not finding too much fault with the being the adjective or doing the verb) So back to the topic. Golddiggers. It’s a hard job!!

One, you must, like all other jobs, do your selective research.  Remember that one chick that got called out for being a golddigger because she wanted advice on where to get men who earned over a certain number of dollars and, stating that, because she was good looking- she deserved it?  I forgot which CEO wrote some overly dramatic response? She was dumb.  She needed to do her own research. You don’t ask for shit like that, you have to be somewhat sneaky to be a golddigger. Do your own research- just like a job.

Two, you must get that person to fall for you, and it would be fairly helpful if you fell for him.

Three, you must get that person to commit to you.

Ok, so now the easy part’s all done. What now?  You found a rich man, he has you for arm candy, it’s a mutually beneficial exchange of, I don’t know, call it utility, for lack of a better word. My college econ professors should be smiling to high heavens now. And usually in these types of situations the girl (or male golddigging counterpart) is the better looking of the two, with the other either being old or fat, or just something sort of “off” like a weird chester-ish vibe.

The work now is the pretending or the keeping up with the charade. Because this fakeness is the very definition of golddigging and not just something simpler like love. We don’t look down on love, we look down on the fakeness and pretense of love. BUT, that’s not to say it’s not hard work. Take Anna Nicole, and that old wizened pale lizard of a man she married (sorry family relatives) She has to: look at him a lot, like all hours of the day, talk to him- I’m sure they have MUCH in common, rub his back (with loose sun damaged skin pulling around her hands, eck,  and perform sexual related happenings with him, pretend she likes it, hold his hand,  in the words of Adam Sandler “his old saggy ball sac” everything!

That daily life in itself is daunting, and scary, if you’re not holding the dollar bills in your line of vision. In come the family members, that are hating on you, putting you down, calling you fake, and generally making your life awful.  And, general public stare at you with their laser beam eyes judging judging judging… hating… always hating.

Golddigging ain’t easy y’all. Just like pimp’in. That’s my piece and I’ve said it.

first poison scare

Our little booboo is sick at home with croup.  He’s had a hacking phlegmy cough for about 3 days and has been miserable for about a week already. Since he was starting to act up around 8:30 am I decided to let him watch some Baby Einstein or, D’s baby crack. This way I would be able to get some breakfast so that I can continue to chase him around and carry him when he’s sensitive/in pain the rest of the day. I usually trust him enough to let him roam the room and with just a little “mommy cross room scan” every minute or so. Well, I look up and booboo had a white face and in his hand was a tube of diaper cream!

I freaked out inside!!

I whisked him to the sink to wash everything off his hands and face and continue to rinse inside his mouth, and to see if there was any diaper cream residue in there to guage how much of it he has eaten. He was smiling the whole time.

We ran upstairs, as fast as a mom with a 23 lb baby can run, at least and I sat him on the floor as I threw on a bra and continued to call his father. busy signal. greeeeat.  I looked closer at the tube and it said in case of ingestion to call poison control, so I did.

My heart was racing as I poured out what happened to the guy on the line… “He reached and got the cream and came to me with white stuff all over his face… should I go to the hospital or the pediatrician… should I try to make him throw up?” while my own mommy guilt was raising higher and higher along with embarrassment that this occurred during my watch.  And his reply really was the greatest thing ever.

A little zinc oxide never hurt nobody.

So we are safe, yeah, of course I questioned him from a few other angles to double check that everything was cool.  I rewarded little D with some haggen-daz strawberry ice cream. I figured his throat could use the soothing and it’s got the same creamy consistency as the diaper cream, ha. The ped recommended it, since it helps with the sore throat that accompanies that awful croup, and teething, because only one thing at a time can not possibly be enough for a boss like little D!

untitled shoot-011

Habit 1- Be Proactive

Honestly, this was a long and thought-provoking chapter.  I’m not sure whether I am wanting to teach these points or merely remember the ones I choose to keep, kind of like the bread and butter.  I am leaning more towards keeping the jewels, however, if you have read the book and would like to add some points, be sure to comment.  Also, if you would like a more broader scope and more detailed points, let me know.  His style of writing is very twisty-turvey, he will make a point and twist it and then turn it over and makes you react to it, this leading to a very sloooow read and often re-reading.  I’d recommend getting the book if any of what I say is striking a chord because I’m sure you’ll pluck from it your own tunes and other areas of his work may sing to you.

Covey’s first habit is to be proactive. He offers a definition, “It means more than merely taking initiative.  It means that as human beings, we are responsible for our own lives. Our behavior is a function of our decisions not our conditions.  We have the initiative and the responsibility to make things happen.”  We each are confronted with scenarios and situations in our daily lives, the highly proactive people do not blame circumstance, or even their previous experiences (conditioning) they approach each problem with conscious effort a choice based on their own values, with the responsibility to own up to it later on.

“It’s not what happens to us, but our response to what happens to us that hurts us.”

Eleanor Roosevelt observes, “No one can hurt you without your consent.”

Those two lines are worthwhile nuggets of wisdom.  Think about it, you have the option to choose how you wish to see/approach each situation!  He gives an example of a jew in Nazi death camps who chose to see outside of his limitations- he chose to see himself in the future, a teacher telling the students about what travesties occurred.  He took himself way into the future, did not choose or swallow that bitter pill and used his imagination to gain mental freedom while in the camp.

Love, according to proactive people is a verb.  Don’t buy in to Hollywood Hoohaw on the irresponsibility of falling in love or having lost that feeling.  “Love is something you do; the sacrifices you make, the giving of self, like a mother bringing a newborn into the world.  If you want to study love, study those who sacrifice for others, even for people who offend or do not love in return.”  So, if you’re in a relationship where you chose to be, choose to love.  Support each other mentally, emotionally, be that safe haven you wish to find.  Sacrifice and serve each other, you deserve to love and stay in love, and often it takes a lot of work.

Each of us have a wide range of concerns that affect us.  It can be all sorts of things including: the government, world peace, global warming, recycling, our children, national debt, problems at work, or relationships.  These all fall into a category of Circle of Concern.  Within that large circle is a smaller circle, a circle of issues or concerns that we have a direct link to and can affect change in, called the Circle of Influence.  Proactive people focus their efforts and energy in the Circle of Influence.  Reactive people focus their energy on the Circle of Concern.  They are the entitled ones, focusing on the weakness of others, blaming the economy, the environment and other circumstances to which they have no immediate control.

This Circle of Concern is filled with the have’s: If only I had a boss that wasn’t such a dictator, If only I had more obedient kids, if only I had my degree….

The Circle of Influence is filled with be’s: I can be more patient, more loving, more patient.  It’s focused within, to change the problem from the inside out.  “…we are responsible– “response-able” to control our lives and to powerfully influence our circumstances by working on be, on what we are.”

Working on consequences and evaluating our mistakes.  Since our behavior is controlled by our principals it is crucial for us to stop and recognize when a mistake has been made and deal with it accordingly.  To cover up our mistakes and not learn from it is amplifying that mistake on another level.

30 Day Challange.

The author proposes a 30 day challenge in which we practice being proactive.  Work only in your circle of influence, make small commitments to areas that truly matter to you and you have the capacity to influence, and KEEP THEM.  Make small promises or set goals and takes small but measurable, steps towards the right direction.  Be a model not a critic.  Try to apply this challenge to all areas of your life: your work, your marriage, with your kids.  Do not argue with others’ weakness, face your mistakes- admit, correct, and learn from it- and move on.  Look at others’ weaknesses with compassion not accusation. It’s not what they’re doing (or not doing) that’s the real issue, it’s how you choose to look at it or take from it.

7 habits overview

The author, Steven Covey decides to start off the chapter by quoting Aristotle.

We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit.

The seven habits are those of effectiveness.  In natural laws of growth, they  provide incremental, sequential, and integrated approach to move from dependence to independence to interdependence.

Dependence  is the paradigm of you.  You take care of me.  You do this, and that. I blame you for these results.

Independence is the paradigm of me.  I can do it, I want this.  I am responsible, I can take care of this.

Interdependence is the paradigm of we.  We can do it, we can work together.  We can hone in on our skills and unite our talents to create something bigger than the sum of us, together.

It is the author’s goal to move you through these habits and incorporate these habits into our everyday so that we can move from the areas of dependence and independence into a more awesome sphere of being- interdependence.  Because we do not exist on this earth alone.  We are often comprised of companies units, family units, even couples.  These same habits of effectiveness can be brought into play with each situation and relationship we find ourselves.

These seven habits of effectiveness are based on principles of balance between the production (or wanted results) from production capability (or the ability or asset that produces the results.)  A wonderful example of the goose and the golden egg was given.  The golden egg being the production and the goose being the production capability or asset.  The balance between getting the results you wish and not undermining the health of the goose is where his ideas come to play.

The principle of always treat your employees exactly as you want them to treat your best customers, is a nugget of wisdom in the realm of business.  I want to add here, that in dealing with business and employees, it is great that you want to treat them well for the sake of your customers… (notice here that the end goal is still your customers?) but remember that you’re dealing with people here.  They are not put on this earth for you to monetize and take the best out of hoping for your best intentions in the end.  They each have hopes and ambitions and creativity- deal with each person and treat them with genuine respect and strive to understand.  For me, to understand the why is far more important than the what or the how.  Do good simply to be a good person- with no end goals in mind, and you will outshine every single goal you’ve set forth for yourself.

We are comprised of our own unique experiences, habits, and goals.  These may be changed.  You are not the results of your habits.  If you make conscious effort, matched with the skill to do so and the desire to do so, you can CREATE better habits.

With that, we anxiously await the first habit.